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Don't even start to think what I know you're starting to think. They're STRAIGHT.
I Love You, Man, is apparently a bromance.
This noun is homophobic and juvenile.
I Love You, Man = homophobic and juvenile?
What is a “bro-mance”? According to the Urban Dictionary, the word “describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.”
In a not-gay way, of course, because that “straight”-ness has to be made explicit.
In order to subvert any kind of potential suspicion, they have to come up with ridiculous word antics.
The whole genre that has preceeded this “new” one, including but not limited to Superbad, Knocked Up (anything with Seth Rogen), Beerfest, Old School…is not without their blatant heterosexism and homophobia. That’s on top of the blatant sexism. And “retarded” jokes. And probably their fair share of fat jokes, even though Seth Rogen, Vince Vaughn (another usual suspect) and many more famous male comedians are rarely on the cover of US Weekly with the headline, “TOO OVERWEIGHT TO PROCREATE?” above them.
Just in from Star magazine: Seth Rogen still not on a diet! How does he maintain that rotund shape?
For the people who claim that this term comes from classic philosophy, since he did endorse extremely close male to male relationships, let’s consider a few things.
- Socrates was gay, friends. In modern terms, he was gay. Look it up. Read Plato’s Symposium, and tell me that there isn’t proof that Socrates was the town harlot.
- Let’s say they weren’t all 100%, tipping off the Kinsey-scale gay. The times then were different than now, since they killed off kids with “deformities”, had multiple slaves, and had sex with women primarily to procreate. They also did things like trample people over with elephants. That doesn’t disprove the theory that non-gay platonic male affection was essentially invented back then, but that does place the theory under completely different circumstances that simply cannot be translated into today’s jargon as “bromance.”
- As Stephen Colbert says, “All or nothing.” Claim bromance comes from one of the big three classical philosophers, but then you absolutely must promote gay sex amongst the military to build a more emotional (and therefore effective) fighting force.
Bromanticism
The term is not only homophobic. It’s really sexist against men. This is a mutated form of self-hatred propagated by males, against males. It assumes that males cannot have a platonic, respectful, and — dare I say — loving friendship that is not physical. Because they are incapable?
It stifles the male identity into not being able to be loved by another man for their personality or friendship. There must be a motive. That motive, with straight males, is generally sex. But deeming it a ‘bromance”, it makes it okay. It’s special and different and absolutely not gay.
Ideally, there should be exploration and encouragement, without stifiling of identity. Not schoolyard self-deprecation to save oneself the hassle of being called names like, “faggot” because of how you enact appreciation and friendship.
Some guy did a lot of research on bromance and should be given a bromance prize of some sort.
I must throw whatever meager weight I have into the corner of David Plotz and his new book, “The Good Book“.
If you’re anti-books about religion, or perhaps anti-books, there’s an excellent podcast he does with John Dickerson and Emily Bazelon, called Slate’s Political Gabfest. Apparently, he’s also in the process of doing an audiobook, so there’s that as well.
And now, for some funny.
Limbaugh the Hutt
Here’s also a video of Richard Dawkins on The Colbert Report. A good way to spend 6.5 minutes.
